Family commitments, work and the general complexity of life can take a toll when you’re caring for an ageing spouse, parent or loved one.

Thankfully, support is available. Aged care respite might be the solution you’ve been searching for.

Aged care respite is when an older person lives in an aged care residence for a short period of time, enabling both the individual and their carer, some time out.

It’s designed to provide caregivers with a well-deserved break, allowing them to recharge physically, emotionally and mentally.

It’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed at the thought of considering aged care respite for your loved one. To help support you through the process, we’ve put together a list of frequently asked questions that outlines what aged care respite looks like at VMCH.

1. How do I know if aged care respite is right for my loved one?

There are many reasons we might consider residential respite care for our loved ones, the most common being that the carer needs a break.

VMCH Relationship Concierge, Deb Kennedy, explains that it is common for carers to feel worn out.

“Carers need downtime.” Deb says. “You’ve got to look after yourself before you can look after someone else. The time that your loved one is spending in respite gives you a really good break and can help improve your metal state.”

This sentiment rings true for Leonie Douglass, who cares for her husband Kevin and has been utilising VMCH’s aged care respite services for the last year.

“We tried respite primarily because I needed a break.” Leonie says. “When you’re the carer, that’s 24/7. After a while you get very tired, so it was time for me to have a break.”

Alongside providing carers downtime, Deb explains other reasons for considering respite.

“Sometimes it might be a situation where the family is going overseas and they don’t want to leave their loved one at home.” Deb explains. “What if they had a fall? No one is going in to check on them everyday.

“Other times, it is to prepare your loved one for moving into residential aged care. If we provide them with a couple of weeks respite here and there, they get used to the idea and feel prepared for permanent care.”

2. What if they don’t like it?

Deb has found that this is one of the more common concerns carers have when considering residential aged care respite for a loved one.

“Often people are concerned that their loved ones aren’t going to enjoy their stay. They are worried they will be bored or that they will be calling constantly wanting to come home.” She explains.

To reduce the likelihood of this happening, Deb recommends carers take a step back.

“You have to remember that this is a break for you as well.” She says. “For the first couple of days, we suggest for the family to give their loved one some space. In that time we’ll work with the resident, see if they can make some acquaintances, participate in activities and get to know the staff. It’s about making them feel comfortable.

“Of course, families are welcome as often as they like. Some want to be there every day for every meal, some won’t come in at all. But sometimes it is best to take a step back.”

It’s also important to know that your loved one is always welcome to leave.

“You don’t have to stay!” Deb says. “It’s our job to make residents want to stay, and I’d say 9 times out of 10 they do. After that I often hear families say ‘For the first time in a long time, I feel relaxed’”.

3. Who will be looking out for my loved one while they’re in respite?

In short, it’s everyone.

From the Residential Services Manager to the Lifestyle team, Physiotherapists, Pastoral Carers, Nurses, Volunteers, Chefs and everyone in between; our team goes above and beyond to make sure your loved one feels looked after during their stay.

As Relationship Concierge, Deb plays a big part in ensuring residents are comfortable during their stay.

“My role is to be that point of contact for the resident when they first come in. It can be daunting and overwhelming for both the family and the resident, so it’s my job to ease them into it.”

Mark Gilham was helping care for his Mother-In-Law Beverley, when they decided on residential respite care due to Beverley’s declining health.

VMCH gave me a lot of moral support, through emails, phone calls and texts. I received constant updates on how Beverly was going and they welcomed us every time we came down to visit. It was just a lovely experience.”

We are only ever a phone call away if you have any concerns about your loved one’s stay.

4. What do we need to bring with us?

Even though your loved one’s stay is short-term, we want them to feel at home. We recommend bringing in any personal items that will aid this feeling.

“Residents will often bring with them familiar items they are used to.” Deb says. “We encourage them to bring photo albums, which is also great for the staff to see and start talking about their family. Some people bring books, puzzles, maybe an iPad. We can hook them up to the Wi-Fi and that way they can share photos with their loved ones while in care.

“We also encourage them to bring their pets, provided they are healthy and vaccinated. Both the residents and staff love having dogs around!”

Other items to bring along are medications, essentials and clothes – everything else will be provided.

5. What if the time comes for permanent care?

The good news is that aged care respite prepares you and your loved one for permanent care, making it as smooth of a transition as possible.

Now that you’ve experienced what permanent care at VMCH will look like, there is a sense of comfort that your loved one will feel more at home.

“Residents have a set room for their respite stay, and we will offer them that same room if they convert to permanency.” Deb says. “This is their home! On the first day of permanency, we see residents bringing in their recliners, their coffee tables, their framed photographs. We don’t want it to feel clinical.”

For Mark, transitioning Beverley into permanent care was always a choice they left up to her.

“We got to the stage where her respite package ran out, so I brought up the idea of permanent care.” He says.

She said she wanted to stay with VMCH. I think that was facilitated by the staff; the way they treated her, the way they interacted with her, the facilities and the activities. She just loves it.”

5. So, what now?

To receive residential respite care, you need an Aged Care Assessment which is arranged through My Aged Care. You can call them directly or alternatively phone the VMCH team and we can walk you through the process.

Once the appropriate paperwork is filled out, the first thing to do is give us a call to arrange a tour of your chosen residence. Once you have viewed the residence and you feel it is right for your loved one, we will then look at dates and availability.

With 13 aged care residences across Melbourne and regional Victoria, we’re sure you’ll find your perfect home.

If you’d like to learn more about VMCH’s residential respite care, click here or phone 1300 698 624.

Understanding Aged Care Respite

Family commitments, work and the general complexity of life can take a toll when you’re caring for an ageing spouse, parent or loved one.

1. How do I know if aged care respite is right for my loved one?

2. What if they don’t like it?

3. Who will be looking out for my loved one while they’re in respite?

4. What do we need to bring with us?

5. What if the time comes for permanent care?

5. So, what now?

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