Aged Care Respite – Leonie and Kevin’s story

6 September 2023

6 Sep 2023

Leonie and Kevin Douglass are a lively and buoyant couple.

The pair live together in a retirement village in Victoria, their two children not too far away.

As Kevin’s full-time carer, Leonie found herself feeling rundown more and more frequently.

“When you’re the carer, that’s 24/7.” Leonie says. “After a while, you get very tired. I knew it was time for me to have a break.”

Together the couple researched their options, eventually deciding to try aged care respite.

Respite is a short-term solution. It’s designed to give caregivers a well-deserved break and allow them to recharge physically, emotionally, and mentally.

VMCH Relationship Concierge, Deb Kennedy, explains that it is common for carers to feel worn out.

“Carers need downtime.” Deb says. “You’ve got to look after yourself before you can look after someone else. The time that your loved one is spending in respite gives you a really good break and can help improve your metal state.”

After visiting a few places across Victoria, Leonie and Kevin agreed on VMCH’s Wantirna Aged Care Residence.

“We decided to try VMCH because it’s close to our children, which makes it easy for them to come and visit.” Leonie says. “Kevin was very happy to come somewhere Catholic. It meant he’d get the chance to go to Mass, he still likes to do that.”

Alongside going to Mass, Kevin enjoys the company of his fellow residents, whom he was quick to forge connections with.

“I suppose the first couple of days you wander around a bit just thinking, looking to see if you know anyone.” He says. “I’ve got friendly with a lot of people now. Most of them are very nice people, very friendly.”

“Actually, he met people his very first day.” Leonie replies. “He wasn’t in his room long before three or four people came in to say hello. They said ‘Now if there’s anything you need, Kevin, don’t hesitate to ask’. It was lovely to hear that, knowing I was leaving Kevin somewhere so caring.”

Kevin has now had three rounds of residential respite at Wantirna, each stay lasting a fortnight. While the couple didn’t necessarily want to spend time apart from one another, they both understood it was a decision made from necessity.

“I’m 84 and Kevin is nearly 88 – we’re both getting old.” Leonie explains.

If you want to keep caring for your partner, you’ve got to be in good shape yourself. And if you let yourself get rundown, you’ll find that things will be much more difficult.”

Alongside providing carers with some downtime, there are other reasons aged care respite might be considered. It might be a situation where the family wants to go on holiday and can’t leave their loved one at home alone.

Alternatively, many people use respite to prepare their loved ones for moving into aged care. The short term stay in respite allows them to feel prepared for permanent care.

If and when the time comes for Kevin to move into permanent care, he knows he has a home at VMCH.

It’s a lovely place. It’s very nice. I loved my room; I was wrapped with that room! I’ve got nothing negative to say about it at all.”

For now, Leonie and Kevin plan to continue their respite journey with VMCH with approximately three visits a year. Leonie has noticed an overall improvement in her mental health and recommends other carers in a similar spot give respite a go.

“Do it sooner rather than later.” She says. “Don’t let your own health go down to a level that you feel your partner has to go in permanently. Just take advantage of getting a break.”

If you’d like to learn more about VMCH’s residential respite care, click here or phone 1300 698 624.

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We here at VMCH respectfully acknowledge the traditional owners of the lands on which we gather, and we would like to take a moment to honour the fact that we live on the lands of the oldest civilisation in the world. We acknowledge the stories, traditions and wisdom of Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander peoples, and pay our respects to their elders past, present and emerging.